Some are probably wondering why I haven't written about my kids. Well, I decided to do this blog to help me be a better person so in-turn I can be a better mother and father, since I have both roles. It took me a long while to figure out that I had to be emotionally healthy to do that. I said for a long time that I knew it and that i was but was i really? Probably not as much as I could be. But I always did the best I could at the time. Not everyone would agree with that or my choices but I know I did.
My boys are spending the summer on the farm in Iowa. This has been tougher on me than anyone. I miss them so much every single day. BUT IT'S WHAT WAS BEST FOR THEM AND MY PARENTS. My boys needed the farm life and to get up and go to work everyday building memories with their grandparents that can never be taken away from them or my parents. They've learned about life and death, different expectations, hard work, respect, responsibility and true, unconditional love. Probably even more than I know.
I'm leaving to go pick them up next week and can hardly wait! I guess they have made a list of things to teach me! Which they will, because I didn't grown up on a working farm. My dad passed away when I was 17 and my mom remarried 10 years ago to a wonderful man who took my siblings, me and my kids under his wing as if we had always been there. Now, my father will always be my dad. No one could ever take his place. And when they married when I was 29, I didn't really need a father but he stepped up, took it as it came and loved us just the same. He offers advice and is a wonderful role model for all men.
On a lighter note....my kids have had a basic sex talk without me having to give it! Thanks to the natural workings on a farm and a local vet (who I used to babysit)! He let them watch and explained cutting the bulls, withdrawing sperm, and then showing it to them under the microscope. Which with any kids, but especially boys led to some more "proud moments". Shortly after that, the boys saw a bull "riding" a cow and my oldest asked, "What is he doing?" My youngest, very matter-of-factly, said, "He's putting those squiggly things inside of her." After hearing this, Auntie Dawn decided that was a much better word for sex...she now calls it "Putting the Squigglies Inside"! I love my family!
Yesterday, my kids saw a bull on a cow again and my oldest hid his eyes, while my youngest simply said, "I think we just made another calf." Wow!!! So many things I don't have to explain now, just threaten about!
Friday, July 22, 2011
First measurement!!
It's only been four days since I first measured but given curiosity and my free day tomorrow, I was curious how it was going. Well......YIPPEE!!!!!! I'm down 7.6 lbs and 2 inches!!!!!!! That is without doing anything.....and I mean anything! Way less than I normally do because of the detox time I talked about in my last blog! I do think I wasn't eating enough, even though I was full the whole time and never hungry. I also ate a high protein meal right before bed. I still have a headache this morning but my energy level is back to normal. Btw...a couple days ago I said was was going on my first trip to the gym. I did! I went and picked up a class schedule. I know, not probably what you thought I meant and I wasn't sure what I meant either so I left myself an out!
Now....free day tomorrow, I get eat anything I want and I've been making a list! As I crave it, I write it down and look out free day!!! On the list is cheese, Agave, greek yogurt, pizza, cheese curds, beer, and good dark chocolate!! Woo Hoo!! Feeling good!!!
Now....free day tomorrow, I get eat anything I want and I've been making a list! As I crave it, I write it down and look out free day!!! On the list is cheese, Agave, greek yogurt, pizza, cheese curds, beer, and good dark chocolate!! Woo Hoo!! Feeling good!!!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
To ask or not to ask????
"If you're looking for a happy ending and couldn't find one, find a new beginning instead......Wit each new sunrise comes the opportunity to start anew with a fresh outlook on life and the choices in the path you decide to take."
That's what I've done.....started a new beginning.
To put it lightly, I have never been good at asking for help. (I know some of you are laughing really loud right now:)) And by never, I mean NEVER. Since my divorce, however, I think it actually got worse. I was raised to be independent no matter what life hands you. Which was a true gift form my mother. But I had to learn on my own that there is a line and true strength actually comes form asking for help sometimes.
When I began reading The 4-Hour Body, I knew I would need support if any program were to work. Then the book told me I had to! Like that author knew I needed that kick! I have a lot of friends that would have been more than happy to help and more will help without even knowing it, they just weren't assigned! So three great friends drew the short straw. I'm only saying this because that step as proved very integral in last two days since I last wrote on here.
How did the 3 lucky ones get so lucky? Well, first off they are all very intelligent people, in both book and common sense: Caroline, Dawn and Renee. They all add different key parts I knew I would need. Caroline has known me since I was married, has had children, has a very busy life, struggled with weight and divorce, and is very well-read on self-help people of all kinds. Dawn is my younger sister and has known me as long as she can remember, struggled with weight but is has now found her way to healthy living and knows me better than anyone. Renee is the youngest of them all, has a very healthy lifestyle, lives close and will make me do what I say I will do. See? The perfect combo!
So the last 2 days I have slept more than I have since...well....ever!!! And had horrible headaches. I got a little worried on day one but Caroline and Dawn assured me it was normal because I was essentially cleansing and my body needed rest. So I was ok but I also thought perhaps I wasn't eating enough because the book said the headaches were a sign. Day 2, waking up the same, I was scared. Caroline to the rescue! As soon as I sent a text, she was a saint and called to help me understand if i was had a problem. Conclusion: After years of trying to "do it all" and finally surrendering, so to speak, my body is having to take more time to adjust and recouperate. So I did even less today and tried to pay close attention to eating enough of the good stuff on schedule. Since I'm logging what I eat, I can see that the first couple days I didn't eat much at all even though I never feel hungry, I have to eat something. I'm pretty sure I have never been told to eat or not eaten enough! Then tonight, Renee came through like a champ! She tried everything in her power to get me to go on a bike ride. She was relentless until I explained the extreme fatigue. She agreed to give me until tomorrow!
I know when word gets out, many more people will be in my support circle but until then, I have the best three supports in the world! And no matter how hard it was to ask for help, it has already been worth it.
Until now, I have never had the ability (for whatever reason) to stay in my house or apartment all day (unless I couldn't leave the bathroom) and be perfectly happy. I've asked myself over and over why. I don't know the answer. I only know that I do not regret one choice I have made in my life because it all brought me here. Not physically here, but emotionally. I am thankful for every step I've taken and have yet to take.
That's what I've done.....started a new beginning.
To put it lightly, I have never been good at asking for help. (I know some of you are laughing really loud right now:)) And by never, I mean NEVER. Since my divorce, however, I think it actually got worse. I was raised to be independent no matter what life hands you. Which was a true gift form my mother. But I had to learn on my own that there is a line and true strength actually comes form asking for help sometimes.
When I began reading The 4-Hour Body, I knew I would need support if any program were to work. Then the book told me I had to! Like that author knew I needed that kick! I have a lot of friends that would have been more than happy to help and more will help without even knowing it, they just weren't assigned! So three great friends drew the short straw. I'm only saying this because that step as proved very integral in last two days since I last wrote on here.
How did the 3 lucky ones get so lucky? Well, first off they are all very intelligent people, in both book and common sense: Caroline, Dawn and Renee. They all add different key parts I knew I would need. Caroline has known me since I was married, has had children, has a very busy life, struggled with weight and divorce, and is very well-read on self-help people of all kinds. Dawn is my younger sister and has known me as long as she can remember, struggled with weight but is has now found her way to healthy living and knows me better than anyone. Renee is the youngest of them all, has a very healthy lifestyle, lives close and will make me do what I say I will do. See? The perfect combo!
So the last 2 days I have slept more than I have since...well....ever!!! And had horrible headaches. I got a little worried on day one but Caroline and Dawn assured me it was normal because I was essentially cleansing and my body needed rest. So I was ok but I also thought perhaps I wasn't eating enough because the book said the headaches were a sign. Day 2, waking up the same, I was scared. Caroline to the rescue! As soon as I sent a text, she was a saint and called to help me understand if i was had a problem. Conclusion: After years of trying to "do it all" and finally surrendering, so to speak, my body is having to take more time to adjust and recouperate. So I did even less today and tried to pay close attention to eating enough of the good stuff on schedule. Since I'm logging what I eat, I can see that the first couple days I didn't eat much at all even though I never feel hungry, I have to eat something. I'm pretty sure I have never been told to eat or not eaten enough! Then tonight, Renee came through like a champ! She tried everything in her power to get me to go on a bike ride. She was relentless until I explained the extreme fatigue. She agreed to give me until tomorrow!
I know when word gets out, many more people will be in my support circle but until then, I have the best three supports in the world! And no matter how hard it was to ask for help, it has already been worth it.
Until now, I have never had the ability (for whatever reason) to stay in my house or apartment all day (unless I couldn't leave the bathroom) and be perfectly happy. I've asked myself over and over why. I don't know the answer. I only know that I do not regret one choice I have made in my life because it all brought me here. Not physically here, but emotionally. I am thankful for every step I've taken and have yet to take.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The beginning....??
Trying to come up with the real beginning is a tough one.....do I start with being married to my best friend for almost 12 years? With selling everything we owned in the Midwest and moving to Wyoming, where we knew no one? With having two wonderful children with my best friend? With the realization that my children were better off in a happy single-parent home than with a miserable two-parent home? The multiple times I've had friends help me back on my emotional feet after a crisis with my kids, or with my ex, or at work, or with a dating relationship gone wrong?
The truth is....there is no true beginning. Everything that has happened to me in the past, even before I was born or this morning, is all part of who I am. And I am lucky enough to get to decide how it all affects me in the future.
I owe so many thanks to those that have held my hand and my heart over and over again, but also those that have broken it. I have no regrets. It all taught me so much about myself.....that I am so very lucky to have been touched by so many over the years. BUT.....ALAS.....IT HAS NOT AND WILL NOT ALWAYS BE THAT EASY TO SAY!!!!! I am no saint! I have made mistakes, hated, and thrown fits! But again...it all made me who I am today. And hopefully it will all make my children into healthy, well-adjusted, resilient adults who never doubt if they were loved more than anything.
FYI...I'm not shy. I will probably share more than some people want to know and leave questions with others, including myself. I would love any and all ideas, questions and comments!
Tomorrow's Goal: First trip to the gym!
The truth is....there is no true beginning. Everything that has happened to me in the past, even before I was born or this morning, is all part of who I am. And I am lucky enough to get to decide how it all affects me in the future.
I owe so many thanks to those that have held my hand and my heart over and over again, but also those that have broken it. I have no regrets. It all taught me so much about myself.....that I am so very lucky to have been touched by so many over the years. BUT.....ALAS.....IT HAS NOT AND WILL NOT ALWAYS BE THAT EASY TO SAY!!!!! I am no saint! I have made mistakes, hated, and thrown fits! But again...it all made me who I am today. And hopefully it will all make my children into healthy, well-adjusted, resilient adults who never doubt if they were loved more than anything.
FYI...I'm not shy. I will probably share more than some people want to know and leave questions with others, including myself. I would love any and all ideas, questions and comments!
Tomorrow's Goal: First trip to the gym!
Why?
I was already asked how I got my name for this blog.....well...a "proud moment" as a mother led me to it! My 2 boys are spending the summer with their grandparents on the farm in rural Iowa. In playing scrabble with Grandma early yesterday morning, my 9 year old spelled a word incorrectly but beginning with the letter "f". Yep...you guessed it. My mother proceeded to quickly text me with a small lecture regarding where could my son learn such things. Thus, "proudmoments3" sprung to my head.
Starting.....Just start!
Let me start with a quote a good friend shared with me last school year...."Don't dig a hole you might have to fill in later." Seems to fit.....I swore I would never blog! Who has time to blog? Well, I owe my dear friend Abbey an apology...here I am. Although I swore I would never do this, as you grow you sometimes realize that what you couldn't understand is exactly what you needed.
To make a long story short....after years of success and then failure at weight loss and management...I'm willing to try anything! I have EVERY excuse lined out to a tee after years of practice, so beware! More detail: I'm a single mom of 2 amazing boys, full time school teacher, do volunteer work in the community and have a wide variety of friends all over the world I try to keep in touch with. (And try to do some dating in there once in a while to remind me I'm an adult!) Easy excuses everywhere!
Why now? Why blog about all this? Well, another great friend, Caroline and her husband told me the plan they are doing and has worked for Pete...The 4-Hour Body. Let me also say, that this came at a time when my younger sister, who is also my best friend, has managed to work her tail off to be the smallest size she has ever been and look amazing! "I don't have time." "I don't have the money." "I just moved." "I'm too tired." "Counting calories just reminds me how bad I am!" And the list goes on and on and on and on.....
In thinking about blogging my weight loss to help me stay on track and help my friends harass me into staying on track, I remembered a time when Abbey also told me I should blog about being a single mom. That I could help others so they see they are not alone! She is quite a visionary whom I love! I don't think I have anything great to offer but why not share! This is just my new way of journaling...and laughing with tears at times!
So let me just say, as I start this new way of sharing my craziness, I have no idea what I'm doing. But something tells me Im not alone.
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