"If you're looking for a happy ending and couldn't find one, find a new beginning instead......Wit each new sunrise comes the opportunity to start anew with a fresh outlook on life and the choices in the path you decide to take."
That's what I've done.....started a new beginning.
To put it lightly, I have never been good at asking for help. (I know some of you are laughing really loud right now:)) And by never, I mean NEVER. Since my divorce, however, I think it actually got worse. I was raised to be independent no matter what life hands you. Which was a true gift form my mother. But I had to learn on my own that there is a line and true strength actually comes form asking for help sometimes.
When I began reading The 4-Hour Body, I knew I would need support if any program were to work. Then the book told me I had to! Like that author knew I needed that kick! I have a lot of friends that would have been more than happy to help and more will help without even knowing it, they just weren't assigned! So three great friends drew the short straw. I'm only saying this because that step as proved very integral in last two days since I last wrote on here.
How did the 3 lucky ones get so lucky? Well, first off they are all very intelligent people, in both book and common sense: Caroline, Dawn and Renee. They all add different key parts I knew I would need. Caroline has known me since I was married, has had children, has a very busy life, struggled with weight and divorce, and is very well-read on self-help people of all kinds. Dawn is my younger sister and has known me as long as she can remember, struggled with weight but is has now found her way to healthy living and knows me better than anyone. Renee is the youngest of them all, has a very healthy lifestyle, lives close and will make me do what I say I will do. See? The perfect combo!
So the last 2 days I have slept more than I have since...well....ever!!! And had horrible headaches. I got a little worried on day one but Caroline and Dawn assured me it was normal because I was essentially cleansing and my body needed rest. So I was ok but I also thought perhaps I wasn't eating enough because the book said the headaches were a sign. Day 2, waking up the same, I was scared. Caroline to the rescue! As soon as I sent a text, she was a saint and called to help me understand if i was had a problem. Conclusion: After years of trying to "do it all" and finally surrendering, so to speak, my body is having to take more time to adjust and recouperate. So I did even less today and tried to pay close attention to eating enough of the good stuff on schedule. Since I'm logging what I eat, I can see that the first couple days I didn't eat much at all even though I never feel hungry, I have to eat something. I'm pretty sure I have never been told to eat or not eaten enough! Then tonight, Renee came through like a champ! She tried everything in her power to get me to go on a bike ride. She was relentless until I explained the extreme fatigue. She agreed to give me until tomorrow!
I know when word gets out, many more people will be in my support circle but until then, I have the best three supports in the world! And no matter how hard it was to ask for help, it has already been worth it.
Until now, I have never had the ability (for whatever reason) to stay in my house or apartment all day (unless I couldn't leave the bathroom) and be perfectly happy. I've asked myself over and over why. I don't know the answer. I only know that I do not regret one choice I have made in my life because it all brought me here. Not physically here, but emotionally. I am thankful for every step I've taken and have yet to take.
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